(Ed.s Note: Mortified that Senator Eddie Lucio Jr. is giving the impression that the residents of Texas Senate District 27 share his ghastly taste in sports apparel, there is a growing movement to take down the statue of the august lawmaker lest the region's reputation take a hit.
Heavily-armed Department of Public Safety troopers reinforced by a Texas Ranger have been sent to protect the eyesore from local protesters who have been planning to hook up a chain to the monument and bring it down.
"The very least we can do is spray the pants black if we can't hook a rope around the golf club and being it down," said a protester wearing a surgical mask to protect the spread of COVID-19.
"I mean what kind of heritage do we want our kids to celebrate? Stop to think about it, we might be doing the Lucio kids and grand kids a favor in spite of himself. Can you imagine a kid looking up at that monstrosity and saying, 'Hey, that's my grampa in that ridiculous outfit.' It would stunt the kid emotionally for life."